tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post523190750191208157..comments2023-11-12T20:59:55.490-05:00Comments on Building a Jewish Life: Baruch Dayan HaEmet: Ilan TokayerKochavahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11841373131402987905noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-40307284590445461952011-03-08T19:14:16.339-05:002011-03-08T19:14:16.339-05:00The pain of losing a loved is the toughest thing i...The pain of losing a loved is the toughest thing in life. Ilan was a wonderful young man, a friend of my son's (a groomsman at his wedding last week), as well as the son of my friend. We hope that Ilan was welcomed into the next world by our son who passed only 6 months ago. I admire you for your journey and wish you luck with your move east. If you are lucky enough to connect with Ilan'sMichellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10063339176075832747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-68929219700528086572011-03-08T13:37:49.348-05:002011-03-08T13:37:49.348-05:00May you find comfort in the mourners of Zion.
Than...May you find comfort in the mourners of Zion.<br />Thank you for posting this, for sharing with all who read your blog, or who stumble upon it, who Ilan was to you, the strength of your friendship, and the impact he made in your life.<br />Like someone earlier commented, I found your blog after googling Ilan's name. The other day I saw several people I knew were "attending" an eventVerednoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-83475449977347967152011-03-08T01:27:57.581-05:002011-03-08T01:27:57.581-05:00I was so devastated to hear of Ilan's passing....I was so devastated to hear of Ilan's passing. I was fortunate to spend the year with him at UC Davis and I was continually amazed by his kindness, compassion, and integrity. My heart is with you and with everyone mourning the loss of a wonderful friend.Greghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18079531687162369074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-77219696061226999522011-03-07T18:52:50.500-05:002011-03-07T18:52:50.500-05:00I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I have h...I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I have had many classes with Ilan and had just recently began talking with him. I barley knew him and he's unforgettable. You guys had a great friendship and I'm sure he's looking over you.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17044704784082013298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-59899324540441707352011-03-07T15:39:06.374-05:002011-03-07T15:39:06.374-05:00Dear Chava, I'm deeply sorry to read about you...Dear Chava, I'm deeply sorry to read about your loss of such a rare and good, sweet friend. Truly, such a friend is a rarity; and this is a great loss. Treasure every moment and blessing you had with him. His effect on you will be part of his memorial in this life. I pray you will find comfort and peace in due time.Mordechai Y. Scherhttp://www.kolberamah.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-70230207552273120392011-03-07T03:01:26.545-05:002011-03-07T03:01:26.545-05:00The news of hearing that someone so young died sud...The news of hearing that someone so young died suddenly is always shocking. Its worse when it is someone you know and admire and even worse when it is someone so close to you with such influence on your life. I have know Ilan for many years but have not been so intouch with him in the passed years. We have many mutual friends and I don't think that I know of anyone who was so liked and Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05007896105641376331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-43702543710775119022011-03-06T17:21:31.315-05:002011-03-06T17:21:31.315-05:00Hi,
I don't know you, and I didn't really...Hi,<br /><br />I don't know you, and I didn't really know Ilan either. I think I met him once and I saw him around because I went to Moshava, where his family goes every summer. I too found your blog by googling his name, after looking at his facebook to learn more about him. <br /><br />I actually found out about this tragedy from an email that YU sent out, and I was immediately saddenedAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-65033658656392769752011-03-06T15:41:14.786-05:002011-03-06T15:41:14.786-05:00Hey Chava,
I just read your post after I stumbled...Hey Chava,<br /><br />I just read your post after I stumbled upon it from Google after searching Ilan Tokayer's name. I lost one of my best friends a few years ago after he passed away suddenly. I remember sobbing for days, and I know the way you must feel right now. I know nothing I will say will make you feel better. But one thing that always lingers in my mind, that I will not forget: Davidnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-75078236176655234972011-03-06T15:26:28.805-05:002011-03-06T15:26:28.805-05:00Ok, this may be rambling, but here goes:
I know I...Ok, this may be rambling, but here goes:<br /><br />I know Ilan from a zillion places, never too well, but from high school, college, camp, T-neck, heights - a lot of "from around".<br /><br />anyway, my immediate rxn to hearing about something so sad as the death of a young someone i no is to go on facebook and their twitter account just to get a glimpse of what they have been up to just plain sadnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-81266848205830275722011-03-06T12:52:06.626-05:002011-03-06T12:52:06.626-05:00Ilan graced our Shabbos table 3 weeks ago. We had ...Ilan graced our Shabbos table 3 weeks ago. We had 2 other couples here, one from the community I live in and visitors from Israel -- people who were thrown out of their homes in Gush Katif. I thought Ilan would round out the group perfectly and he did. From the moment we sat down the crazy conversation never ended. It was as if we were all old friends getting together again. My husband and I are Moriahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10031303390387367887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-90529783988638376662011-03-06T05:30:42.296-05:002011-03-06T05:30:42.296-05:00I met Ilan when I was in Sacramento for the Unifie...I met Ilan when I was in Sacramento for the Unified Wine and Grape Symposium in January. I actually met him in shul, but I had wished to meet him. We went out on Thursday morning after shul for a coffee, before the symposium, which he didn't attend that day, but had attended on Wednesday, but I had not seen him. A good fellow, a potentially great winemaker, doing necessary research for hisAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-82198653163945092272011-03-06T01:23:24.952-05:002011-03-06T01:23:24.952-05:00I have only met Ilan once. We worked together at t...I have only met Ilan once. We worked together at the Covenant crush this past harvest. Ilan was the future of the new Israeli wine revolution. More importantly, there wasn't a single thing about his personality that was unpleasant. I refuse to get over this loss. Our souls will never be seperated and that is how I will have to console myself.<br /><br />I remember Ilan's t-shirt. It said Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-28262606309462168312011-03-06T01:07:42.181-05:002011-03-06T01:07:42.181-05:00You should know- anyone who knew ilan knew about y...You should know- anyone who knew ilan knew about you and ur shabbat times together You meant a lot to him and to us knowing he had someone to spend shabbat withAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-80179143070539379422011-03-06T00:57:11.470-05:002011-03-06T00:57:11.470-05:00My G-d ... I'm so sorry. So very, very sorry. ...My G-d ... I'm so sorry. So very, very sorry. I'm here for you if you need it. I'll be around tomorrow, before and after the funeral. I would feel so strange going because I did not know him, but if you need an ear or a shoulder, please let me know. <br /><br />May his memory be for a blessing.Chaviva Gordon-Bennetthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03332712096317076482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-83028231079425781432011-03-05T22:06:38.719-05:002011-03-05T22:06:38.719-05:00Thanks for your candor and words. They were not &q...Thanks for your candor and words. They were not "rambling". I did not personally know Ilan but heard about his untimely and tragic death and my heart cries out for all who mourn him. I learned many wonderful things things about him from what you shared in the blog.<br />I truly hope that his family and many friends will be comforted by their faith, loving memories of Ilan and Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-28071358935166483712011-03-05T17:36:21.564-05:002011-03-05T17:36:21.564-05:00Condolences. I met Ilan only last Shabbat, When he...Condolences. I met Ilan only last Shabbat, When he came for the wedding. Haval D'avdin. He was an impressive guyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-46247190154262976372011-03-05T16:18:01.680-05:002011-03-05T16:18:01.680-05:00Crying for you now - wish I could give you a great...Crying for you now - wish I could give you a great big in person. I hope that you are able to get in touch with some of Ilan's other friends, as I think it would mean a lot to be able to share some of this with other people who "get it". I hope that you are eventually able to find some comfort in your memories of better times and in knowing that Ilan has changed your life for good rgoldstandhttp://twitter.com/rgoldstandnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-80218774283425514062011-03-05T16:11:24.029-05:002011-03-05T16:11:24.029-05:00I still can't believe he's gone.
I first ...I still can't believe he's gone.<br /><br />I first met Ilan 11 years ago when he and his family moved to Chashmonaiim- a little Israeli settlement smack dab in the middle between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. The Tokayers were an immediate success in Chashmonaiim- easy going and well liked. Since I had also just moved from America the previous year, Ilan and I became instant friends drawn Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10560118957839158246noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-30277307674191221662011-03-05T13:32:24.674-05:002011-03-05T13:32:24.674-05:00Baruch Dayan Haemes.
I'd never known Ilan, ei...Baruch Dayan Haemes.<br /><br />I'd never known Ilan, either in person or online, but this was as fitting a tribute as I've ever read. He seems like he must have been a wonderful person, and I'm glad for your sake that you were able to know him, albeit (too) briefly.<br /><br />May Hashem comfort you (and his family) among the mourners of Tzion and Yerushalayim.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-25779255778829544802011-03-05T11:58:44.775-05:002011-03-05T11:58:44.775-05:00chava,
a friend of ilan's from jerusalem, i j...chava,<br /><br />a friend of ilan's from jerusalem, i just wrote a response to your words--sharing my own loneliness as a new immigrant, the near and dear conversations i shared with ilan, the shabbat memories that ring so clearly from one of my most perceptive friends, and the empathy i share with you having a very close friend of my own who has recently traversed the up/downs of Shuminghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06632707102232755800noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-45461904349167707962011-03-04T17:51:01.283-05:002011-03-04T17:51:01.283-05:00oh Chava!! It's like seconds before candle lig...oh Chava!! It's like seconds before candle lighting here so I sped-read your post. I will come back after shabbos to give it a better read.<br /><br />I will be davening for your broken heart all weekend! ((hugs))Ellehttp://www.onbecomingdevoted.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-84049425296993068822011-03-04T17:24:48.021-05:002011-03-04T17:24:48.021-05:00I can't imagine how you feel, a little tear es...I can't imagine how you feel, a little tear escaped my eye just reading. I don't know you so there isn't much for me to say except I'm sorry.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com