tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post2266689584149060356..comments2023-11-12T20:59:55.490-05:00Comments on Building a Jewish Life: Phrase of the Day: "Be Attractive, Not Attracting"Kochavahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11841373131402987905noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-20451002863952342852013-08-11T12:39:09.999-04:002013-08-11T12:39:09.999-04:00I actually just learned this phrase recently - I&#...I actually just learned this phrase recently - I'm Christian, and now that I've seen this phrase and some explanation on Jewish beliefs regarding modesty I actually really like it! To me, it means that yes we should wear attractive clothing and take care of our appearance, but not in a way that attracts others to lust after us. Another blog I came across had a conversation on the topic ofLaurenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08888762000870536615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-17090265284713737292013-05-27T15:07:34.833-04:002013-05-27T15:07:34.833-04:00This phrase is inherently contradictory. Dressing ...This phrase is inherently contradictory. Dressing in a way that pleases your husband will almost invariably please at least *some* other men. The problem is in frum perceptions. There is a tendency to *assume* a woman who dons attractive clothes is doing it to attract men other than her husband. Why the ayin hara? It is not assur to automatically make such assumptions? Not only that, but genuine Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-10149639953985499002012-03-04T14:16:19.748-05:002012-03-04T14:16:19.748-05:00"Attractive but not attracting" simply m..."Attractive but not attracting" simply means be attractive to your husband at all time, but not attracting to other men. Don't dress up for others, just for your husband. Unfortunately, either its due to societal pressure, or an internal conflict, married women tend to dress attractively for others so that they are attracting their attention except their husband's. This also Sarahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-69097134692584468702012-03-02T02:54:30.644-05:002012-03-02T02:54:30.644-05:00It was always more helpful to me to get actual des...It was always more helpful to me to get actual descriptions.Kathleennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-67787999758213685652012-02-29T19:03:50.406-05:002012-02-29T19:03:50.406-05:00I've never heard it before, and it doesn't...I've never heard it before, and it doesn't convey anything meaningul to me. I agree with others who have said that actual guidelines, examples, pictures, etc. are much more helpful.Susan Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00840373234747823781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-89074157201359144302012-02-29T12:51:04.045-05:002012-02-29T12:51:04.045-05:00I find it basically a play on words that is not pa...I find it basically a play on words that is not particularly helpful - to me, though I only keep tznius to go to services etc (which seems common sense but uh... doesn't seem to eb!), specific rules such as "cover your elbows and knees, cover your collarbone" are much more helpful.<br /><br />Of course, as I found out what tznius was, I also found out that a significant number of myL.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03744775425809060296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-7381662986625489252012-02-29T12:35:39.752-05:002012-02-29T12:35:39.752-05:00I can imagine how irritating it must be to hear th...I can imagine how irritating it must be to hear that after a while. To me, it makes sense. Dressing to consider yourself attractive (so you feel good about yourself), vs. dressing to attract members of the opposite sex (or same, if you swing that way). I guess the problem lies in someone to whom those things aren't much different, and that others have differing standards of what's Threnhttp://threnody.livejournal.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-10753108762923637562012-02-29T12:14:14.531-05:002012-02-29T12:14:14.531-05:00I actually like it because it's a reminder tha...I actually like it because it's a reminder that being modest is not synonymous with frumpy. Our outward appearance, our speech, our mannerisms should all reflect an attentiveness to detail in such a way that we may described as attractive.Rebecca Einstein Schorrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09304661918070274646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-12957406984395336792012-02-29T11:49:22.700-05:002012-02-29T11:49:22.700-05:00the phrase, a fav of BY teachers everywhere, is me...the phrase, a fav of BY teachers everywhere, is meaningless. a good guideline for tzanua attire is "cover at least what the community says to, look respectable, but don't dress to turn heads". the problems arise when attire becomes intertwined with self-esteem and getting attention. plus, rules that state a skirt length neglect to specify how tight it shouldn't be, so it's Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-63042101748759874642012-02-29T11:40:39.480-05:002012-02-29T11:40:39.480-05:00Too ambiguous. It's one of those feel-good phr...Too ambiguous. It's one of those feel-good phrases that makes a person confused when they really think about it. It answers nothing really. <br /><br />I think a woman (and a man for that matter) can tell when they are trying to look nice versus trying to look hot. The gray area between is usually a matter of what you're accustomed to and not so much a matter of principle. For instance I Ellehttp://www.onbecomingdevoted.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-34244992024986294992012-02-29T10:57:07.592-05:002012-02-29T10:57:07.592-05:00Well, I guess it's sensibility. Don't flau...Well, I guess it's sensibility. Don't flaunt everything you've got, maybe cover up a bit more than what's considered appropriate in public, but while you're doing it try to look "pretty," not frumpy. For me, as a woman, that usually means short-sleeves, no cleavage and something that goes over my knees ('cept at the beach :o)) and lots of accessories. But I know Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-73519055036209552392012-02-29T10:41:44.801-05:002012-02-29T10:41:44.801-05:00I find it only mildly annoying. To me, it's n...I find it only mildly annoying. To me, it's not very descriptive or helpful, but more of another catchphrase that really doesn't say much. I found actually descriptions of what tznius rules were much more helpful as well as pictures.<br /><br />The phrase reminds me a lot of catch phrases used often in business that are even more irritating because they really don't say anything, Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-69104162236383052082012-02-29T10:33:27.998-05:002012-02-29T10:33:27.998-05:00I've managed to miss this phrase until now, an...I've managed to miss this phrase until now, and don't find it particularly helpful.Larry Lennhoffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06578073969473815180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5292734369805726323.post-17343378821787036702012-02-29T10:14:03.357-05:002012-02-29T10:14:03.357-05:00Don't like it. Its just semantics. If you want...Don't like it. Its just semantics. If you want to know what a tzniyus look is, it's this: not sexy.<br />The problem is that different people will qualify that differently.<br />AND, tzniyus is more than a look.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com