Now, for your voyeuristic pleasure, an awkward story from my life this past Shabbos:
After driving 11.5 hours from my parents' house to NYC on Friday, I was pooped when Shabbos arrived. Mamish pooped. I barely made it through Friday night, but overslept significantly on Shabbat morning. When I arrived at my lunch location, beers in hand, I was locked out. They had said the windows would be open so I could yell up to the 5th floor, but I didn't see any open windows. I decided to wait beside the door.
Eventually, a nice Jewish boy came home and was unlocking the building door. Being the polite Southerner I am, I always ask permission to follow a person through a locked building door. I said, "Do you mind if I follow you in?" Being a kind person, he even opened the door for me!
But then, because I attract awkward moments like honey attracts flies, I ended up following him up all five flights of stairs. There are only five floors. Thinking back on my choice of words, I realized that could sound super creepy, like I'm going to follow him home. By the time we reached the third floor, I felt awkward enough to actually tell him I wasn't purposely following him home. Thankfully, he laughed. But by the time we reached the 5th floor, he was suspicious enough to ask me whose apartment I was going to.
Sure enough, he was my friend's neighbor. D'oh!