Word of the day: bitachon. Most basically, it means trust. Trust in Hashem.
Being a Type A, practical-to-a-fault person, I often say that bitachon and emunah (faith) are very difficult for me.
I'm beginning to rethink that statement.
As you should all know by now, I'm moving cross-country in a week. Only today did I finally get my apartment settled (or so I think). I still need to get rid of my worldly possessions. I haven't sent out a single resume to find a job. And today was my last day of work, so I'm officially unemployed until after the bar exams at the end of July.
My dad is understandably nervous. People think that I'm very calm about making major changes in my life, but my dad is so calm that he makes me look like a nutcase. He always says, "Everything will work out." Being female, sometimes I just want to vent, and that phrase is the very last thing I want to hear. (See Rabbi Aryeh Pamensky and the Happy Wife series.) But today, I used that phrase on my dad to calm him about my move. My guess is that he took it as well as I normally do! Hahahahah...sweet revenge.
When people learn that I'm moving to NYC, the question is always: "Oh, did you get a job there?" No. No, I didn't. I haven't even started that process. (Because quite frankly, a lot of people say they will move to NYC and never do, so why should an employer believe me?) Why am I moving to NYC? Because getting my conversion requires it. Once I'd decided on this move and began researching it, I learned that it was also the best move for me objectively as a person. As a career choice and financial decision, the jury is still out.
So what do I have? Bitachon. I must. Or else I'm a certifiable nutter.